Who am I following? Well, if you’ve been reading my blog for any amount of time, you probably know what I’m going to say to that.
I’m going to tell you I’m following Jesus. But even though the answer to this question might have been obvious and simple, the truth of that answer is a little more complex. The truth is that even though I’ve known for months that I was going to be writing about this, and even though I confidently say I follow Jesus, for some reason it’s taken me longer than I expected to actually sit down and put all my thoughts into writing. Why is that the case? Why have I struggled to write about something with such a clear and simple answer?
I believe the challenge for my writing hasn’t come from wondering WHO I’m going to say I’m following. The challenge has stemmed from spending more time thinking about what it means to follow Jesus and then realizing, if I’m honest, how often maybe I’m not.
The Bible is filled with stories and scripture of people who have followed God and Jesus, and since I’ve had this topic more present on my mind, I’ve been paying closer attention to them. I’ve been looking for what these people of faith did and didn’t do in their walk with God. Where did they stay true to their faith and where did they waiver?
The one thing I’ve noticed in the stories I’ve read is that none of the people have followed God perfectly. Even the great heroes of faith have had moments of error or doubt. But in every story, in each life, God has remained faithful. He remains the same.
One day my mind kept repeating this thought: Maybe one key to being a faithful follower is remembering who’s always following us.
I think this thought came to mind because I’d recently read several Bible passages that demonstrated God's faithfulness to people in their times of doubt. One of these reminders was in Deuteronomy 1, where Moses reminds the people of Israel what he’d told them during their wilderness wanderings, where they stopped trusting God for provision.
He’d said to them:
“The Lord your God is going ahead of you. He will fight for you, just as you saw him do in Egypt. And you saw how the Lord your God cared for you all along the way as you traveled through the wilderness, just as a father cares for his child. Now he has brought you to this place.” (Deuteronomy 1:30-31 NLT)
Nearly the same words are repeated again in Deuteronomy 31, where Moses again encourages the people of Israel to always choose God and believe in his promises to them. He says in Deuteronomy 31:6, “So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”
Then he repeats these words again to Joshua, his successor, while all the people listened: “Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will nether fail you nor abandon you.” (Deuteronomy 31:8 NLT)
Because of the repetition here, I can’t help but notice those words: “The Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.”
Knowing he’s ahead of me, never leaving me, reminds me why I should always follow him. And when I mess up, rely on myself too much, these words remind me again, that he’s still with me.
These words from Deuteronomy reminded me of one of my favorite Psalms. In Psalm 139:5 (ESV) it says “You hem me in behind and before, you lay your hand upon me.”
The words “hem me in” come from the Hebrew word “tsuwr” which is often used to describe a military siege or fortification. A closely related term is used in reference to ideas such as rocks or strength. In this context, it’s meant to suggest guarding a physical object. This attests to the Lord’s protection of his people. (Bibleref.com)
Knowing that God is protecting me so strongly and steadfastly is a reminder of why I want to always follow him. So again, the knowledge of who is following and surrounding and going ahead of me makes the desire to follow him all the more prominent in my mind. If I reflect on this enough, it seems absolutely crazy that I would ever do anything else. But being human, it’s unfortunately so natural to try to take control of things myself sometimes rather than fully surrendering things to God.
I’m reading the book of Genesis again in a Bible study with some friends, and we were recently reminded of this tendency to take things into our own control in Genesis 12, where Abraham (called Abram at this point in the story) follows God’s commands and direction for the most part, but not entirely. For example, when told to go to Canaan, he does, but then decides on his own to detour toward Egypt out of fears of a famine in Canaan. In Egypt, he confronts other problems, which God helps him through, but I wonder, would things have been easier if he would have trusted completely in God’s direction in spite of his fears?
A commentary on this passage by David Guzik says, “Abram, like most of us, found it easier to trust God in the far-off promises than in the right-now needs.” That certainly got me thinking. How many times have I gotten tripped up over some of the immediate problems in front of me, feeling stressed or worried or upset, forgetting the promise that God will get me through, as he’s always done in the past?
Rather than being tripped up, I need to remember those words in Deuteronomy and the Psalms, and in so many other places, that God is with me, and stay focused on him and not the problem.
The Message translation of Psalm 139:5 says, “I look behind me and you’re there, then up ahead and you’re there too, your reassuring presence, coming and going.”
This makes me think of the story of Peter when he walked on water. He was able to walk toward Jesus when he kept his eyes on him. Things changed when he took his eyes away from Jesus to the problem around him.
“But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.
Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said, “Why did you doubt me?” Matthew 14:30-31 (NLT)
I love the way The Chosen series portrays this so powerfully. (Click the link below if you want to see this scene) At the end of the scene, we see Peter crying on the boat in the arms of Jesus, repeating, “Don’t let me go. Please don’t let me go.” Jesus tells him he’s got him and keeps holding him. I could watch this over and over and not get tired of it. It’s such a powerful reminder that he’s always holding us, no matter what. Even with little faith, he has us, especially when we cry out to him for help, like Peter did when he was sinking.
So, back to the question, who am I following?
I’m following Jesus. That’s for sure. But I’m not going to say that so lightly anymore. In other words, I’m not going to say it without checking myself, without humbling myself in the moments that I get caught up in depending on my own ways, my own ideas, my own plans, rather than on God’s ways and plans. His ways are always better, and lucky for me, he is always there, hemming me in.
I’m closing this with the words of Isaiah 40:28-31. They came to me in this time of reflecting on how well I’m following God. After reading it, I found myself repeating the words “Wait on the Lord. He will renew my strength.” I noticed the passage said those who WAIT on the Lord renew their strength. That means I don’t need to DO something in response to a worry, a fear, a thing I’m wanting to happen. I simply need to wait on him. Trust him. And all will be as he plans, and that is always good.
I pray you find comfort in these words too and that you find something in God’s word you can repeat as a reminder of who will follow you, who you can trust, and who will be with you in every moment of your days.
No matter what transition you’re in or traveling toward, he is with you and he’s got you!
Isaiah 40:28-31 (ESV)
Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
LINKS:
Link to The Chosen scene of Peter walking on Water:
A great song to listen to when reflecting on who follows us in our walk of faith: Into the Mystery by Need to Breathe:
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